it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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