omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
