508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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