After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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