I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
