Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.