ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
