It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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