Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
