so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
