I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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