We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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