it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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