Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
