Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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