True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
