you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
