Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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