I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
