At least make sure they are 18
Why
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
