spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
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All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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