I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
