dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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