I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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