How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
