you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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