I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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