he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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