i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
