Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize