Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He? As in you personified your dick?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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