Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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