ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
