No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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