I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize