Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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