Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
