I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
