i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
