i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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