If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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