morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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