You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
