I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
