I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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