Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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