i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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