Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
