Just cropdusted the office
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize