I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
