evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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