bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
