You made me cry and you don't even care
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
