Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
please don't ironically join a cult
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