Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
