I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
