what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
