Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
