that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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