he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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