My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
