oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
