theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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