Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
