i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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