she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
